Tellico Tale *Continued*

Many of the Tellico trails appear to be old logging roads . . . with off-camber grades, loose rocks and sheer drop-offs. At least there are lots of trees to break your fall and bash your Jeep. I am happy to say that this did not happen on our trip. Other parts of the trail reminded me of driving on rough cobblestone road in Germany . . . . although some of the cobbles are somewhat large!





There were only two times on the ride that I was really uncomfortable. The first was on the obstacle called "Slick Rock."

Here is what one trail review magazine has to say about it,

"Trail #9. Rated Most Difficult. Known as "Hard Rock" going up and "Slick Rock" coming down, either way, this trail provides plenty of excitement. The approach to the rock runs right up a creek bed with lots of big, loose muddy boulders that get shifted around each time someone goes up. Steering linkage damage and tires coming off the rim happen quite frequently here. There is no getting around Hard Rock, so when you reach this point on Trail 9 you are committed. The rock has a very smooth surface, is about two stories tall, and has a natural spring at the base to ensure that it's always muddy and wet. There are three lines that can be taken to ascend the rock, you can hang either far left for the easiest approach; far right and it will be an 8-9 climb, or you can attempt the middle and take your chances! This is a favorite place for the locals to gather and watch the show and rollovers are quite common. The fun is not over when you get to the top of Hard Rock either, as there is still a couple of good ledges awaiting you before you run into Trail 8. "

Yeah. I would be one of those potential "roll overs." As I was climbing up I lost traction on one of my front tires which caused my Jeep to yaw perpendicular to the incline. Eric . . . . although not nearly as quickly as I would have liked, attached my winchline to a tree to keep me stable and to swing my front around in the right direction.

The other time that caused my eyes to bug was when we came to a huge obstacle on the upper #2 trail. Inside of a washed out channel is a boulder that is basically impassable without a winch. The tricky bit is that the boulder is at an angle on the top, so as you winch over it your Jeep is pushed closer and closer to the jagged rocks on the side of the channel. I though I was destined for certain body damage. This is where the AiROCK system on my Jeep paid (ok, not quite "paid") for itself, as I was able to "lean" my Jeep out of harm's way.

Tales from Tellico - An Introduction

So I recently returned from the great cross county Jeep adventure. The trail ride was lead by Larry - He has been on the trails many times and made for a great leader. There is a small $5 fee per vehicle - you stuff your money into an envelope and then give it to the "iron ranger." Larry was also driving a red Jeep.

Doug was driving a khaki Jeep and big 37" competition tires. He also had beadlocks which hold the tire on the rim with the air pressure lowered for greater traction. He also served as surrogate to Daniqua. Don't ask.


Next we have the lovely and sinuous Sharon. I spent most of the time looking at her back-side. By which I mean, I followed her on the trail. And she showed no fear - several times she had a wheel off the ground.


Eric - who has an amazing ability to retrieve wayward breakfast foods- did not have his Jeep with him, so he rode shotgun with Larry (well actually he rode .357 - but I digress) He did a great job of taking pictures and spotting the trail lines and repeatedly setting the winch line when we had to pull ourselves over an obstacle.

And then . . there is me. I have spent the last two years prepping my Jeep for a trip like this. There was really a lot riding on it . . . . if my Jeep did not perform well I would have really been disappointed. I am happy to report that it exceeded my expectations.

Eric and I rode up together from Tampa on Tuesday - we got to Murphy, N.C. at about 11 p.m. Traffic was a breeze - it was nice being able to use the HOV lane through downtown Atlanta. The weather on the first day was incredible - crisp, clear and the fall foliage was breathtaking. The first day was, as it turns out, mild. Lots of rocks everywhere, and the trails were a constant thrill as we snaked through the forest.

I felt really inadequate at lunch time . . . . Eric and I just grabbed sandwiches (and some great banana pudding) from a grocery store - but everyone else broke out the camp-ware and made chicken stew, and fettuccine alfredo!

More details and pics to follow!

Really busy trying to get on the road . . .

But I had to write a response to the following bulletin that is being circulated on the internet.


A rebuttal (in bold) from a nice guy that is sane, self-secure, mature and happy-in-life.


*If he's not calling you, it's because you're not on his mind
No. He could actually be busy, or trying to work on a nice surprise for you.

*If he creates expectations for you, and then doesn't follow through on little things, he will do the same for big things. Be aware of this and realize that he's okay with disappointing you.
No. Some people make mistakes. There are too many variables in life to extrapolate out a tidy little “test.” Thinking “Oh no, he forgot I said that I wanted to go to the mall tonight . . . . that means he won’t be there for me when I really need him!” is simply ridiculous.

*Don't be with someone who doesn't do what they say they're going to do.
If it is the norm . . . yes, I agree.

*"Busy" is another word for "asshole." "Asshole" is another word for the guy you're dating.
No.

*If at all possible, try to get to know someone as best you can before you get naked with them.
“If at all possible”?! You think? I hope that would be a requirement – otherwise you are a tart/slut/tramp or really insecure.

*If a man is really into you, nothing will stop him from being with you - including a fear of intimacy.
Probably true.

*Whatever problems you may have been having in your relationship, they didn't merit him having sex with someone else.
I think that would depend on the construct of the relationship. If you discussed and agreed on having an exclusive relationship, I agree.

*An excuse is a polite rejection. Men are not afraid of "ruining the friendship."
Right. Did you also know that men with blond hair also eat newborn babies with jam and toast? This statement is a generalization that may not be true.

*If you can find him, then he can find you. If he wants to find you, he will.
True. Unless he is stupid.

*Cheating is bad. Not knowing why you cheated is even worse. Don't date any man who doesn't know why he does things.
Yes, cheating is bad. And he knows why he cheated. It is because he does not like you as much as you like him.

*100 men polled said they have never accidentally slept with anyone.
Read this sentence out loud. I would not trust statistics from someone that can not construct a sentence.

*100 men polled said they've never been too busy to call a woman they were really into.
Did she mean to say “100 percent of men polled?”

*Cheating is cheating. It doesn't matter whom it was with or how many times it happened.
Again, was the relationship exclusive?

*Cheating gets easier every time it's done. It's only hard the first time, when one feels the sting of morality and the guilt of betraying someone's trust.
Probably true.

*It doesn't count unless he says it when he's sober. An "I Love You" (or any semblance thereof) while under the influence of anything stronger than grape juice won't hold up in court or in life.
Oh please. Grow up.

*If he only wants to see you, talk to you, have sex with you, etc., when he's inebriated, it ain't love - it's sport.
True enough.

*Don't spend your time on and give your heart to any guy who makes you wonder about anything related to his feelings for you.
If you follow this advice you will spend your life alone.

*If you feel that's he's always holding something back, or that you're spending a lot of energy trying to change yourself into something you think will make him happier, then divorce yourself from him and move on.
All humans are always holding something back. Accept it! As for changing people . . . . don’t confuse change with compromise. I would hope for a relationship where you pick up on each other’s positive traits and become better people as a result. . . . look up the Gestalt Theory.

*100 guys polled said they would have no problem marrying a woman who they were positive was the love of their life.
This pseudo-statistic stuff is going to make my head explode.

*It's very tempting when you really want to be with someone to settle for much, much less - even a vague, pathetic facsimile of less - than you would have ever imagined. Remember always what you set out to get, and please don't settle for less.
If you are not happy, move on!

*Deciding to get back together with someone is a complicated and difficult decision. Just remember that the person that you are getting back together with is the same person who, not long before, looked you in your beautiful face, took full stock of you and all your qualities, and told you that he was no longer in need of your company.
Oh wow. Bitter. Grow up.

*You can't talk your way out of a breakup. It is not up for discussion. A breakup is a definitive action, not a democratic one.
Oh yes, here’s a good mantra, “Communication=bad!”

*Break-up sex still means you're broken up.
No, it means you have little self-worth and are insecure. Or just a slut.

*CUT HIM OFF, LET HIM MISS YOU.
Uh huh. Playing games. Great course of action.

*Don't give him the chance to reject you again.
Building walls. Great idea. Soon we will hear wedding bells, and then a year later lawyers arguing as the judge bangs his gavel.

*If the person you "love" cannot freely spend his days thinking about you and being with you, it's not REAL love.
Sounds somewhat trite . . . but has the roots of plausibility.

*Unless he's all yours, he's still hers.
Did she get this out of a fortune cookie? Could it be that the relationship is still developing?

*Try not to be 4 years into the relationship when it suddenly dawns on you that the guy you're with is a big, selfish jerk.
Good advice. I personally would aim for maybe 4 hours . . . .

*You deserve to be with someone who is nice to you all the time. (You have to be nice to them, too.)
Yes, that is an ideal belief. Don’t forget that everyone has a bad day - even you.

*You already have one asshole. You don't need another.
Yes, unless you are full of shit – otherwise it sound like a perfect match.

Outta here!

I leave for a Jeep adventure tomorrow. Much to do.

For those of you with Myspace.

Don't Change Your Top 5-fill the people in below-answer the questions truthfully.
Number 1: Dixie
Number 2: Petey
Number 3: Angela
Number 4: Shelby
Number 5: Eli

Have you ever danced with 3? Oh yes. I seem to have a foggy memory of being on a stage whilst dancing!

Where did you meet number 5? Jeeping

Have you ever hugged number 2? No, but I have scratched behind his ears. And he has dry-humped my leg.

Have you ever gotten drunk/high with number 4? Yup. Most recently the night before the wedding.

Has 1 been to your house?: Once or twice. Hell – she has cleaned my house!

Has number 2 ever seen you naked?: Nope, even though he offered to dry-hump me.

Have you ever gone shopping with 3?: Hmmmm. Maybe for beer.

Have you ever seen 2 in a swimsuit?: Nope – but I have seen him in his birthday suit.

Have you ever met 1's family?: Yes, and survived to tell the tale.

Do you know 1's middle name?: "Lee"

Have you ever eaten anything in front of 3? Yes.

Have you ever hated number 4? No! No! No! Who could hate Sheby?

Have you ever fought with number 2? I saw what he did to the other Couch. No way, I know my limits.

When's the last time you talked to 5 in person? Saturday at the costume party. Oddly enough it was like talking to myself.

Have you ever seen 3 do something embarassing? Heh. Yeah.

Are any of your top 5 family members? Nope.

Has anyone in your top 5 seen you cry? Sigh, yes. When Saxon died.

Have you ever done something dangerous with number 4? Drunken night,on the shore of the San Antonio River. We could have drowned. Maybe, how deep is that river?

Have you ever slept in the same bed as number 2? Nope.

Have you ever slept in the same bed as number 1? Yup.

Do you think 4 and 5 would make a good couple?: For a saucy TV show, yes.

Have you dating/dated someone on your top 5? Yup

Has 5 ever bought you something really special/expensive?: Not yet. But I am sure she will.

Will you do anything for number 1? Just about.

Has 3 ever helped you out? In so many ways.

How do you feel when 2 hugs you? Violated.

A sign from above

For the last hour I have been watching from my office window the Clear Channel guys install a new billboard.

Perfect.

Roaches and other vermin

Scarlet, our Melbourne Bureau Chief, brought to our attention this news story. I, uh, think I would spring for the $200 admission fee. PETA, of course, has something to say about this. I believe their battle cry is Save The Roaches! I wonder how PETA people handle love bug season?

And the other story she sent me is, in a word, awesome. Although I think taping a photo-collage of this person to the windshield would be just as effective. Or maybe this one. Or if you park in a very high crime area, this would be your best bet.

I love October

3.14159. . . . . .

Pretty Flowers! Took this pic just yesterday.

So last night the Dixie and I met up with Gecko, Jen and Emost and gorged on brats at Der Schnitzelhaus. Sweet Jesus! It was so good - and a great way to start of my October.

Tonight it is off to the theatre to see "A Light in the Piazza."

It would seem to be International Week.

On to today's headlines:

Prai$e God!

Snicker-Snort-Giggle.

Hmmmmm . . . I wonder if he is available to do parties?

Picture and other news

This is a bit of a strange picture. Those are crab trap floats strung on on a wire for decoration around a nautical bar. I think I was leaning waaaaay back on the bar stool when I tool the picture.

So here is a fun website to check out . . . I find it to be fairly accurate.

Well it would seem that the snakes have been able to elevate themselves on the desirability scale. Curious.

OK . . . . this is kinda cool. But call me old fashioned . . . is there really anything wrong with this?

Happy Wednesday everyone!

I took this just off of the Blue Ridge Parkway, on Schulls Mill Road.


So in the news today . . . . Those kooky Norwegians are up to it again. Key quote, "...the point was to have a pleasant toilet..."

Yeah . . . . . so there are many hazards out there that can result in a vehicular accident. However, if my Jeep was in the median with the rubber side up, and this was the cause, I am not sure I would admit it. . . . maybe brag about it to my friends at the bar, but certainly not to the authorities.


THIS HAS TO BE A JOKE.



Rexburg = snakes.

Wilford = snakes.